mIssSixty's Paradise

2005-08-31T15:15:00.000+08:00

Sorry

You guys got to relink me again. So so sorry.

http://dycememoir.blogdrive.com/

2005-08-31T10:44:00.000+08:00

No choice

I have really no choice but to resort to this. And I'm not doing this because I loves her, but beause I loves my brother.

WANTED
Name: Ling Qeok Lan
Age:34
Date of Birth: 28 03 1971
Time of birth: 5.44pm
Dialect: Hockchia
Place of birth: KK hospital

Okay, she's my so-called mother. And I'm not doing this because I care about her!! I just want her to go and pray to my brother. My brother had always wanted to know about that woman. Eventhough I think he doesn't know what that woman had done lah. In case the information isn't enough, here's the information on my so-called grandmother too.

Name: Soh Sua Pian
Age: 58
Date of Birth: 29 02 1947
Dialect: Hokkien

And my co-called grandfather
Name : Ling _____ Hock.
Sorry ah...Cause the birth certificate of my so-called mother is quite blur so I had a hard time figuring all these words out.

And my so-called great-grandmother: Ting Mee Song

And their address is 108 Yishun Ring road, #08-305, 277b

I don't know if they had moved out already or not. But hopefully some kind soul read my blog and happen to know them... Please let me know. You can email to me at xiuxiu_89@hotmail.com. Though I know not many know about my blog but please help pass the message around.

And ofcourse the particular of her so-called child.

Name : Ong Xiu Juan (that's me. And ofcourse Amy too, that's what she used to call me)
Age: 16
Date of birth: 16 08 1989
Place of birth: KK

Name: Ong Zhi Wen (johnson)
Age:14
Date of birth: 21 02 1991
Place of birth: KK

My father.
Name: Ong Kian Huat
Age: 38
Date of birth: 29 05 1967
Place of birth: KK

Wonder how excited I felt and I happen to find 'her' birth certificate and all the information I need, except the telephone number. So...I will go to the address one day and see if she had move out. Mean while, please help me take note of this woman kay? Thanks!

*ninety degree bow

2005-08-30T18:49:00.000+08:00

OMG!!

Hahas.! Yea! My friend, wai has a girl friend!!! Trust him not to let us know and I found out myself from his friendster. Hahas. I'm lame cause we don't usually contact.

But you guys know how happy I felt for my friend? AHH! It's like...a very very exciting and happy just like when I know dad has a girl friend and my bitch had someone in mind. YEAH!!!

All the best for them yea~ Hee...

*bleam

2005-08-30T16:05:00.000+08:00

Overslept

Ah! It was already seven a.m and my alarm clock showed six a.m. Ten minutes to rush to school or I'll be late and I decided not to go to school.
Yawn~

I'm tired of studying. O level is near. No, I shall endure this two months. =(

I have so many plans for after O. Hais... *yawn

STUDY~~

2005-08-29T18:01:00.000+08:00

The walk

Hurhur. Call me dyce will do. Hahas!

Didn't bring files for all three subjects and I was right in doing so. We didn't use it. hahas. Lessons was as usual, bore to the core. E mathematics was rushing like don't know what because of Ohm. I asked her if we need to hand in our locus worksheet since Ms Maslinda already gone through it and she said yes. So WE rushed through my papers and drawing like mad! And then!!!! We need not hand in the paper! *phew~ Ohm ah...

Ohm and I were being naughty again by skipping A mathematics remedial. We were walking very very slowly down the stairs deciding whether to go or not. Then I saw Mr yap and the both of us run all the way out of the school. Hahas!

Went to buy fries and drink outside our school and Ohm suggested walking home so we walked home. The weather was hot, our bags were heavy, but we were happily walking home. Hurhur..
Saw pasar malam near Ohm's and my place and we decided to go tomorrow night with Rina and Ohm's sister too. =) hee

I know lah~ Having supper = storing fats!!! But! Erm..erm....

Ohm, we'll walk home again the next time. Hahas. Fats burned. okay, done. Hahas.

TAG ME!!

2005-08-28T21:04:00.000+08:00

Short post

Went tuition today. Our tuition ended at about THREE hours!! And Miss Lee still asked us if we wanna continue with another topic and it will be another two hours more. Hahas.!!

Anyway, Ohm, your sister makes nice egg tarts! And not forgetting your mum too. Crapped with Ohm and her sister before the tuition start. Her sister likes acting!! hahas.. Didn't know that. =)

English is crazy! We were asked to memorise and memorise different essay. Oh God! We couldn't even memories our exams, let alone ESSAYS! Sianz.

I had a nice dream of myself being a SUPERSTAR! Honeybunch said I think too much! Wahahas! But then...Sweet dream lah~

=)

2005-08-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

I'm getting fat. =(
(but not overweight kay!)

2005-08-26T16:38:00.000+08:00

My life, my rules

I walked home with Ohm today! We spent half an hour to reach home, pretty fast huh? Huhur. I sang on our way and asked Ohm for comments. But then...I always couldn't control myself from not laughing when it is a sad song! =)

Honeybunch, bitchified and I skipped Mrs Chong's chinese lesson and our chinese spelling retest. We intend to hide in the library then one guy from 'don't know what class' asked us to sign in before we can go in. We hesitate here and there and sign it. If we were to be discovered, we'll tell the true then. Found the story 'A leap of love' by Catherine Lim and I borrowed it. I love reading~~~ Ahem. Hurhur...

Friends will always tend to get angry with each other.(sometimes) Quarrel a little then everything will be alright. Hmm... Actually, we shouldn't really bother much. It's what matters now that we're happy together. So... If anything really bother us, turn you head away and don't look at it! It's better than having a dispute, isn't it? =)
Alright, matter solved.

Well, somehow I feel that...there ain't everlasting love. I used to say it doesn't matter if it's everlasting or not, what matters is we've had it before. But then...if you know it won't last, then it'll be wasting of time. LAH!!! I'm being bored. Nothing serious anyway. Real bored.

I'm stuck in my A maths now!!!

2005-08-25T16:51:00.000+08:00

SLEEPY

I dozed off during english lesson. Was caught by Mrs Krishnan and she asked me to answer the question. I answered it wrongly. =p Really tired during english lesson and my eyelid was trying to shut themselves up. Hahas.

I've got to study!

2005-08-24T18:23:00.000+08:00

Crying in the rain

Opps! I know I ought to be studying but I was listening to 5566's 3rd album and I came across this song- Crying in the rain. And I thought I should share with you guys. Here it goes!

Crying in the rain

I'll never let you see
The way my broken heart is hurting me
I've got me Pride
and I know how to hide
All my sorrow and pain

I'll do my crying in the rain
If I wait for stormy skies
You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes
You'll never know that I still love you so
Though my heartaches remain

I'll do my crying in the rain
Raindrops falling from heaven
Could never take away my misery
But since we're not together
I'll wait for stormy weather
to hide these tears
I hope you'll never see

Someday when my crying's done
I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun
I may be a fool
But till then darling you'll
never see me complain

I'll do my crying in the rain

I'll do my crying in the rain

2005-08-24T17:07:00.000+08:00

Safe and alive!

Had very serious cramp today and I didn't brought my medicine. But then...I'm glad I have my Honeybunch and Mummy. I couldn't take it at the last period and my dar suggested going to the toilet cause I was feeling nausea. On the way to the toilet I nearly couldn't take it. My vision was like blackening.

Then I sat at the outside the toilet feeling so giddy. The security guard saw and asked one indian boy to call a teacher here. And he called Miss Goh!! I went out to sit outside the sick bay squating down outside. *no face. Then Miss Goh asked me what's wrong and stuffs then asked my mummy to buy hot milo for me. And before she went off, she said 'you've got good friends!' Hurhur... =D

Struggled my way home with Honeybunch and Mummy sending me home. They are so toothsome! Extremely sweet huh! =D I love you all lotx. MUACKS!

Physics test tomorrow and homeworks not done yet. Got to rush up. BYE!

2005-08-23T18:21:00.000+08:00

HEADACHES

Urgh.... Can't our teachers pity how much things we have to bring to school? We have to bring files to school for their lesson and not allow to put it in class!!! What about during taking a bus? Trying to balance yourself with one hand, being knocked by some people trying to squeeze past you. URGH! That su*ks!

Can SBS163 be changed to a double decker? Every morning, there are ALWAYS not enough seats.
Ahhh...Kays... my head hurt so much, stop complaining.

Can I just bang my head on the wall and every misery thing i find will be gone. ARGH! Can't life just get better? Can't my attitude just get better?
=( TSK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not gonna study today!!!! GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!
I just can't wait to get over my o's. *SOB

*pull hair

2005-08-21T20:55:00.000+08:00

Very good~

Had my first chemistry tuition lesson with Ohm today. I reached her house half an hour earlier and we watched 'Project Superstar' together. Her parents went to fetch our tuition teacher, Ohm's cousin and Ohm's sister went out to do project.

Ohm kept going out of her house to check the candles on the offering table to the deities. Then suddenly she said the candles need to change a new pair already and she don't know how to do it. As a 'Xian Qi Liang Mu', hey~, ofcourse I know how to do it and I helped her. Her mother came back afterwards and scold her because she didn't light the joss sticks!! Hahas!

Ohm tried to make me fat! She offered me sweet and I said no, but because of her persistence, I agreed. I took one and she said 'one only arx...?' Then I said 'ya..' And she said 'orh..then later during tuition I eat, you don't eat horx...' URGH! I was tempted. =( And I took one more. Hahas.

I was shocked when our tuition teacher came. She looked just like our ex choir instructor, Miss Loh. I was like trying to control myself from smiling and I looked away. Ohm came beside me and whispered 'look like Miss Loh horx?' And I said 'Yup, but she's your cousin, why you only discover it now?' Then she said it's because they hasn't see each other for a very long time. Hahas!

During the tuition, Ohm swtiched on the aircon too low. And I was freezing with my skin changing colours. hahas. No, I'm not a chameleon. It's just that my skin always er....I don't know how to say. Ohm pantomined to me 'cold arx?' and I shook my head. And she looked at my skin then laughed. Urgh! OH...Those with more fats will usually feels warmer huh? Ohm? Hurhur...
Wait till the next time you come to my house for tuition, I will revenge! Hahas!

Our tuition teacher not only look like Miss loh BUT even Speaks like her too. Like how she'll snap her fingers when we answer the questions, how she said 'Ah HA~' and when we answer the correct answer, she'll said 'very good~'. She's got the same accent as Miss Loh. Hahas..

There's a 'bid dinner' tonight but I didn't go with my family. Sianz! Not not it's really bored but...I want to sleep earlier lah~ Every morning's bag really can kills us.

And don't forget Ohm...I told you arx...If I don't get into a JC, you're gonna be very sad! So make sure you force me to study huh!

Jun Yang,
JIA YOU!!!!

2005-08-20T18:18:00.000+08:00

So sad

Actually thought that so-called fortune teller is coming today but then in the end no. And I had cancelled my tuition already! In the morning already asked my grandfather and he refuses to say anything. Still said that I won't understand even if he say. Sianz.

Then after that about going to three, he asked me why I never go tuition and I told him. Then he said the people cannot make it so never come. URGH!

WHY IS JUN YANG OUT!!! So sad.... I want Jun Yang! Watched Superstar again today and urgh... So sad... Nevermind, he'll always be my 'project superstar'!!!
And Jun Yang is friends with Lin Jun Jie for seven years!! They are still keeping in contact. And on that day when Jun Yang was eliminated, JJ called him and console him. =D

2005-08-18T18:23:00.000+08:00

O' well...

Yea~ Bitchified I'm really very happy that he replied. *phew! It's like a huge rock removed from my mind huh? Hurhur....

Okays. Today, Bitchified messaged Wei Min and told him that he's behaving weird and not replying our messages. Honeybunch said he might probably think that we're childish BUT he replied. Which is sort of a miracle? And he apologised. =)

Mr Yap was not in school today. He told us yesterday if nothing goes wrong, he'll be back on monday. Don't know what happen to him. Hopefully it's nothing big.

Yesterday I almost cried when I heard Jun Yang sang 'Ai Hen Jian Dan'. It's not because he sounded very touching or nice BUT it's because he sounded really....
=( Then I was really worried but luckily the next two songs he did it very well!!! Although I supports Jun Yang but Wei Lian was nice too, touching.
Tonight's Kelly and Xin Hui. I don't know to hope for who to win. I like them both. =)

Our class got scolded by Mrs Krishnan again because some of us didn't memorise what she asked us to. She said we had a stinky arrogant attitude. I didn't really get that. I thought we were just being too relax and lazy.

My family is asking a fortune teller to our house on saturday because of my grandfather's leg. And because he said he dreamt of his mother. Hmm... How can a doctor give up on his patient and tell his patient that he cannot get well again. That is so depressing. I hope everything will be fine and alright. Pray for me. ='(

2005-08-17T19:57:00.000+08:00

AGAIN~

Wao laox... The doctor said my grandfather's leg will not get well. SIANZ. I also don't know lah~
The other time they also said that but now...Hais... I really don't know how to react.

Just now wanna make Agar Agar for my grandfather. I made three packets. But I put too little sugar and it taste really very yucky right now. I wanted to throw it away at first but Rina said she will eat them. Hahas.

Now in the end!! We were told that we could choose not to retake Chinese again after all. Hmm... Bitchified and I had a long thought about it and decided that we shall retake. Hahas...Weng Lao Shi said that both bitchified and I are sort of like the good ones in class. Hurhur...

Then we asked Mr Yap if he think we should retake and he said if we are that type of people who will regret after something. For example we got back the results and then start regreting why didn't we retake! We could have gotten one marks lesser, then we should take.
After we heard this, bitchified and I looked at each other and decided that we shall retake! If we don't, we will definitely regret and grumble the whole day. Hahas!!

I have to work hard.

2005-08-16T20:33:00.000+08:00

Happy Bithday To Me!

Thanks F4nHai for all your presents and for spending time with me. =D

We went to have dinner at hougang. We had claypot deer's meat, claypot tofu, shrimp paste chicken wings, brocolli with scallops, mango fish, sweet and sour pork and rojak!! Yummy~~ Hahas!!

And we played 'Zong Ji Mi Ma' again and as USUAL I won! =D Hurhur...

Hug hug!! Muacks muacks!! Hahas...

Love you guys lotx!!

Sweety 16 =D

I'm tired lah~ Sorry, just a short entry.

SYLVESTER!!

The food half eaten.

ME!!!

MUMMY!!!

BITCHIFIED

OHM!!!

*yawn

2005-08-15T16:54:00.000+08:00

Towkay ah!!!!

Hahas!! Went for the seventh month dinner with my family yesterday. The speaker was darn loud and that's what the Mister had been saying all the time. He would go TOWKAY AHH!!! and everyone would shout back HUAT AHH!!!! Hahas!! My eardrums was really going to burst lorx.

I really regreted going to eat because I'm so tired in school today. My leg was having cramp. URGH. Hahas...err...Please not tomorrow. SIANZ!!!

Forgot to mention that my uncle and his family gave me a watch for my birthday present. Rina gave me a very cute note book and two shower perfume and a pen. That's very nice of her cause she don't earn much too. =)

Had O level english oral today and I was very nervous. As usual!! I stutter on EVERY sentences. =(

Ahhh...Can't take it anymore. I'm really very tired, can't think of anything to write. I need to rest my brain!

zzZzzzZzzz....

2005-08-12T16:53:00.000+08:00

WHY?!

I've got a B3 for my chinese O level. Why couldn't I just get maybe five or more marks and I wouldn't need to retake it again! Remember I've said before bitch, honeybunch and I wrote out of point for the chinese letter writing? Imagine what we will have gotten if we didn't wrote out of point? URGH!!!!

Bitch and I was very upset about having to retake the test. HAIS! But then...Dad old dude said he got a B3 for the first time round too and he got an A2 for the retest. I think that's some kind of encouragement. =(

Ahhh... *sob!! So sad lah~!

2005-08-11T18:54:00.000+08:00

Hopefully

I hope no one read my yesterday entry. =) Hahas. You can never count on me for saying that I'm not gonna blog. I can't stop myself from blogging! If I don't blog...how am I going to remember all the things which had happened once. So yup..hahas...

My plant is really going bald!! I was shocked today when I reached home and I went to water it immediately. =( It's really scary. It was bought on last friday and it's now turning bald. =( I use all my heart in watering you, please don't die!! ='(

Jun Yang's performance yesterday was not really himself. I mean...he could have done better. I was so scared that he might be booted out that I voted for him. Though I only voted ten times, it's my thoughts that count. =)

My bitch and I want to buy goldfishes!!! Each of us want to buy a pair of it. But then!! My Papa said that I can't put it on my study table because we are not allowed to put pets in the room? I don't know!! I really want to get the Goldfishes! =( I even thought of the name already! =( HOW? I don't wanna put it in the living room!! *sob.

I'm really afraid of having pets again. But I really want one!! I've 'killed' two tortises and one fish. =( SOB!! I don't care lah! I want!!!!!

I've thought of becoming a Policewoman!!! I know I don't look like one but... I don't know...

I'm in a confused state today...

Sianz....It's okay... What matter most is that, I do feel quite happy now.
Just quite... yup...

2005-08-09T09:41:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!

Yea! I loves Singapore! I love it's climate and how peaceful it is. =D There is no racial riots, no earthquake and no lack of food. Hahas!

It's National Day again, which means it's two years past since NDP'03. I don't know how come we, F4nHai, will be so bothered about remembering all the details about NDP'03. Sometimes, I do feel stupid about how hard I try to stay in contact with Zhu Tou Si when some appear not to care about it. I wonder will they be laughing thinking what those little kids are doing? I really feels stupid now! Hahas! ANyway, why should we really care? =(

Secondary 1 in choir for us were like slacking around and playing until Miss Low came at secondary 2. Then we started to work hard for SYF. Secondary 2, we took part in NDP'03 and that bonds us choir together. Right now, we still talks about it sometimes and sing the songs we once sang.

*yawn
Will update later. The panadol is taking effect and making me drowsy.

2005-08-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

Charlie and the chocolate factory

Went to PS to watch Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Although many of them say that the show is very lame, we find it quite hilarious. Anyway, our whole gang went today. Hahas. =D

Bought Popcorn Combo and cheesy hot dog. Honeybunch, Bitchified and I were being very disgusting by comparing our hotdogs. We even purposly squeeze our hot dogs to force the cheese out. Wahahas!!

My Honeybunch then started being 'wu liao' by trying to act ghost and started grabbing my tighs!! I struggled and spilled half of the Popcorn!!!!!! Wasted! It's all dar's fault. Hurhur...

I'm so touched by my F4nHai. Hahas. They bought one small ice-cream cake for me. I don't know how to react and ya...Hahas!! I don't even know how to thank them and so I messaged them on the spot. Hahas!!

Cause this year I wasn't planning to like celebrate my birthday or what. Hmm...It's like something which will happen every year so I don't really look forward to it anymore. But then still!! Yup... Hahas.. I'm really touched! =)

Suffering from sore throat and block nose now! URGH!!

2005-08-07T16:00:00.000+08:00

I thought....

Hahas!! The other day my Mummy was asking me to ask *him if he wanna go view the fireworks with us. BUt I didn't dare to ask and I thought he'll feel that this is so 'wu liao'. Hahas.. And guess what?

No...He didn't ask me..

His nick asked if anyone wanna go and see fireworks. Hahas!! And all the way I thought know him quite well. And my dar said it's hard to say, he might even be a very romantic guy. OOH!!! Hahahas..

=D

I'm having sore throat now because I sang too much yesterday. Or maybe shouted too much. Yesterday the national celebration, there was a finale and I joined in the fun by singing loudly at home. Hahas! Serve myself right.

my throat hurts....

I didn't know that my Mummy told *him that she wanna go but he didn't reply her. I just feel that he was not busy but it's just that he didn't want to reply. HMMP!!!

I don't want to appear as if we're so desperate to go out with him or whatsoever. URGH!!
Wo says that effort does gets pay off? It doesn't. I don't want to think so much about *him anymore. (I don't know how many times have I said that). Urgh.........

He's too much...

2005-08-06T21:56:00.000+08:00

National Day is near!!

National day celebration at my flat here today. Heard National Day's songs on the radio, couldn't help but think of the past yea?

Hahaas!! Right now, I can hear someone performing for the celebration singing 'Dang Ni Gu Dan Ni Hui Xiang Qi Shui?'. And that person said 'Happy Birthday Singapore!'. I wonder who is that person singing. Quite nice. =D So lucky huh? To be able to have 'free' music.

The flat above my house is really very noisy! We can always hear dropping of things, knocking on things. Strange hor? The other time, they were drilling nails in the middle of the night and many neighbours shouted. I even felt like calling the neighbourhood police. SIanz.

Jun Yang!!

I love him so much!! Muacks!!

2005-08-03T18:48:00.000+08:00

Do you know??

I'm so tired. Sometimes, or maybe all the time. I've been thinking of all sorts of things. I can (probably) forget about my mother because I've not seen her for so many years. But some things...I just can't forget no matter how hard I try. It pulls me down. Even if I get it out of my chest, it wouldn't help. I know.

That sunday morning right at the begining of holiday. I couldn't forget the first thing I heard. The cries of my aunties. I couldn't forget the first thing my aunt told me. I couldn't forget the look on her face. I always remember my reply, how I try to force the words out of my mouth. How my aunt anwered me. How hard I cried on that day.

I couldn't forget how I tried to lie to myself, it was all but a nightmare. I couldn't forget how I looked at my grandmother and wondered how she would feel if she knew. I couldn't forget how I tried to swallow my food down but I couldn't. I couldn't forget how I told my father ' we can't take care of him...and now god has taken over our duties.' I couldn't forget the ritual at the beach. I couldn't forget how heavy my head felt at that time. I

I couldn't forget how my eyes hurt from crying. My tears went dry. I couldn't forget the moment when I looked at his corpse. How pale and lifeless it was, how dark his lips were and the blood that were dried at the edge of his eyes. How my tears began welling the moment I saw it. I couldn't bring my leg to walk out of the room. How I forced myself to describe to my aunties what I saw. I couldn't forget how I cried and ask my aunt ' why must he be the one? why couldn't it be his friend?' I couldn't forget her reply ' people leave for a reason, this is a accident'.

I couldn't forget the look on my father's face. He couldn't accept the fact. I couldn't forget the way the coffin looked like. I couldn't forget how they stacked his things on top of his body. I couldn't forget how his hands look like, they were not the one I saw before. I couldn't forget the fear I felt looking at him. I couldn't forget the dolphin he hugged to sleep.

I couldn't forget how I tried to use my hands to cover his eyes. I couldn't forget how cold it was. His face. I couldn't forget how afraid I was to touch him. I couldn't believe he had left us. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't forget how my father told me they opened up his body from head to toe to check if he has other injuries. I couldn't imagine him being cut open.

I couldn't forget the last time I looked at his face. I sat alone at the front seat with the coffin at the back. I couldn't forget how the smoke got into me eye. I couldn't forget how I cried, and the offering of the tissue from the driver. I couldn't forget how I called out his name when we're driving across a bridge.

I couldn't forget that dreadful weather. I couldn't forget how dark the sky looked like. I couldn't forget how his coffin got into the fire. I couldn't forget the cries of everyone. I couldn't forget how I got home. I couldn't forget the first thing I did. I couldn't forget how I longed to wake up. I couldn't forget how my head hurt. I couldn't forget how afraid I was to sleep alone that I asked Rina to sleep with me.

I couldn't forget how I took his ashes in a big transparent box. I couldn't forget how my father's tears rolled down. I couldn't foget how my uncle cried. That was his first time crying infront of me. I couldn't forget the touch of his ashes. I couldn't forget how I carried the ashes. I couldn't forget how I looked at it.

I couldn't forget the way i live through each of my day. I couldn't forget it was the day I cooked spagetti for my family. I couldn't forget how sad I was when my father and him was not around to eat my spagetti. I couldn't forget how it was the last time I cooked spagetti for him and he didn't ate it. I couldn't forget the last time he ironed his clothes. I couldn't forget what he wore.

I couldn't forget his smile. I couldn't forget how we quarrel. I couldn't forget how he sat at the chair and watched television with me. I couldn't forget the year was the first year I did not celebrate Moon Cake festival with him, and it was the last time I could do so. I couldn't forget it was the first time I didn't gave him anything for his birthday and it was the last time I could do so.

I couldn't forget how I promised that I'll celebrate his birthday this year. I couldn't forget the way he talked. I couldn't forget his things. I couldn't forget the times we played together. I couldn't forget the smell of his hair spray. I couldn't forget how he tried to copy my signature. I couldn't forget how we played at the pool. I couldn't forget the time playing at the beach with sand castles.

I couldn't forget,
I couldn't accpet.

Time will heal, yes.
But my wounds are still raw.

2005-08-01T20:07:00.000+08:00

I AM THE WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll just talk about my dinner!! Madam Sharifah was not here so we had free period at the library. I saw a recipe and began looking through it. THEN, we decided that we need to have some decent meal together so we had our dinner together outside our school. A pity my mummy was not there.

We ordered Curry fish head,

Sweet and sour pork,

and broccoli with scallop.

Ofcourse these are not the real pictures. They are taken from YAHOO!!

The fish head is not fresh and there are very less vegetables in it. The sweet and sour pork and broccoli with scallop tasted nice!!

After we had our fill, we started playing 'Zong Ji Mi Ma'. One of us will write out a number and let the others see first. Then we will tell them the range of the number. The person who said the number out will have to eat what we gave them.

Bitchified were punished for about eight times, Ohm five time, dar four time. I was only punished for two times!!! I didn't know why was I so lucky today. =D For the first time, we will add the chilli sauce nto the curry sauce YUCKS. Then we'll slowly add more and more things like onion, green pepper and dar suggested the curry leaves in the curry!! Wahahas...

And dar tried to make me get punished by telling Ohm the correct number. BUT her conscious got over her and she said I need not get punish. Hurhur...

Every monday's bag is so heavy! SIANZ!!

2005-07-31T19:55:00.000+08:00

Ge Dou Tian Wang

Can't blog today because I'm watching Mr fight staring 5566 and sweetie. =D It will only be aired on sunday. So sad..But then it's better than nothing. Ren Fu is so dran darn darn SHUAI in there. But in the first scence he was beaten up by Qie Zhi. Hurhur....

Ge Dou Tian Wang

Ying Qi

Yu Qiao

You Li

Xiao Kui

Update tomorrow.

2005-07-30T15:42:00.000+08:00

Yo I'm back!

Back after much thoughts yea~ My previous station xpinkzx. Read through my entries in xpinkzx and well...I really prefer the past.

I've changed my shout box. Please help me tag okay? Look at how KAWAII it is! Hahas. I've tried looking fo new templates but to no avail. Can someone design some nice templates for me? Hahas. I have thoughts of using back diaryland because I think it's more user friendly. But better not...

Hahas. Studied for the monday test just now. At the rate I'm doing my work, I'll never study finish. Bitchified agreed to teach me E maths. YEAH! Hahas.

Now I am going to just pour out all my feelingss and thoughts. Don't get enough of me okay? But if you get sick of me, don't read my blog the next time. Or maybe...you could try closing your eyes. Hahas. Just like Jolin Tsai's song 'Zhen Yi Zhi Yan, Bi Yi Zhi Yan'.

But then, do you all really allow me to be true to my blog? Will my friends be able to take it. Can I bring myself to say out everything? I have so many 'buts' today. I guess I can since I'm not xiaxue. Or maybe even err....SPG?? No...not her. Guess most of the bloggers would have know her. She's on the news quite lately.

Dear friends, forgive me for not letting you all know. Somethings are hard to say. Hard to bring it out on the table.

2005-07-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

Changed for the better ? Or worst?

I was reading through my past entries and I found out that my style of writing has changed quite alot. Not my language.... Go read out my past entries and you'll know.

I don't express myself so openly like the past. I'm not as humorous like the past. It just ain't the same. I didn't even discover it until now.

I'm gonna try.
Try to change.
Change to suit.

And that's for everyone.

These few days I really don't feel like myself. I could watch the television till half and just stare into spaces into around the room. And begin to think and think. I don't feel like expressing how I felt all the while. Can I try? Can I really open out myself? I don't know....

you wouldn't wanna know what I hide from you.

2005-07-29T18:58:00.000+08:00

Historic moment huh?

Today was my first time helping my friends to put their plates back at the store without anyone accompanying me.

Missed my usual bus today.

Not in a mood to blog.

If only...

If only someone would understand....

2005-07-28T18:12:00.000+08:00

How???!!!

Really hard to decide what to do. Choir and O levels, both are as important. Some may be laughing now, who would choose choir? BUT we really love choir alot! If we want to take the choir test, we have to go for practise and there is already not enough time for revision. =(

If they have enough members to go for the test, we will not be joining them. I feel like we're abandoning them. WE know our choir is the not strong and the least we could do is to have a few more members. Hais...

Madam Cheng gave us precious advices on our O today. I still remember how we used to treat her. NOW, we love her more than how we used to hate her. Hahas.

I felt like I was being ostracized today when Madam Yeo asked Bitch and Ohm to go over to her class. Urgh!!! I know my chemistry is weak, but do she have to separate us? I think she's one teacher who won't think of the students' feeling.

Had no mass P.E today because the P.E teachers went for the secondary two camp. And Mr Zul spent the time nagging and nagging at the whole school. From academic to appearance.
We were scolded by Mrs Krishnan again for not bringing our phrase book. And that took one hour.

If only the teachers know how stress we are. Somehow I feel, some of the teachers have already given up hopes on some of the students.

During physics SSP today (I was not in a good mood) , Mr Yap acted cute. I mean...imagine a teacher acting cute. Wouldn't you feel irritated too. And I mumbered 'crazy' and he saw it. He didn't scold me but asked me why wasn't I doing my work. PLEASE, my Bitch was also not doing! And I told him that, then he asked my Bitch. SIANZ.

Will be having retest for chemistry and history next week. I passed my A maths retest but it was not good enough for a retest. I didn't bother to study just because my tuition teacher had gone through some.

My relationship with my father is really...like a rollercoaster. Our conversation contains less than ten sentences in a week, I think. Many would have expected me to talk to my father. But, he's my father. Shouldn't he care and ask about me? Instead of the other way round?

I hope Ohm's mother would be able to find a chemistry teacher. If she can find one, Ohm and I will be tuitioning together. =) Hope she'll be able to find one please. I seriously need a tuition teacher for my chemistry.

Superstar tonight.

2005-07-27T17:18:00.000+08:00

Phantom of the opera

Changed my picture to Christine and Meg.

Mr Raj was not around for P.E today and Madam Wee took over. It took one period before the P.E room was open. Bitch, Ohm and I were sitting at the stairs and singing, our own mini concert. Hurhur...

Then Madam Wee suddenly came and we went into hiding. Our class were scolded because people who were not attired were playing while people who were attired were not. Then we played Captain ball. It was quite fun.

No english SSP today and we skipped A maths SSP. At first, we heard from 'don't know who' that we only had to bring the work sheet home to do. Then suddenly they said must go again. Sianz~ So in the end, we skipped.

Before going home, the library setted up a booth outside the canteen and there was many Agartha Christie's book!! And I borrowed two. =D 'Miss marple's final case' and 'sad cypress'.

Sianz!! I don't know why is Miss Toh not free on friday. Now we have to tuition on saturday. I hate to do things which I dislike. If we tuition on friday, I'll have the whole saturday for revision or other stuffs. Shouldn't we do only the things we like if we can?

Sometimes I wonder if people do trust me like how I trust them.
Sometimes I wonder if they do love me like how I love them.
Sometimes I wonder....

Am I thinking too much? And making life miserable for myself.

But I can't help...

But wonder.....

Lyrics of 'Think of me' (Phantom of the opera)

Think of me
think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me
once in a while -
please promise me
you'll try.

FIRMIN
Andre, this is doing nothing for my nerves.

ANDRE
Don't fret, Firmin.

CHRISTINE
When you find
that, once
again, you long
to take your heart back
and be free -
if you
ever find
a moment,
spare a thought
for me

(Transformation to the Gala. CHRISTINE is
revealed in full costume)

We never said
our love
was evergreen,
or as unchanging
as the sea -
but if
you can still
remember
stop and think
of me . . .

Think of all the things
we've shared and seen -
don't think about the things
which might have been . . .

Think of me,
think of me waking,
silent and
resigned.

Imagine me,
trying too hard
to put you
from my mind.

Recall those days
look back
on all those times,
think of the things
we'll never do -
there will
never be
a day, when
I won't think
of you . .

(Applause, bravos. Prominent among the bravos, those
of the young RAOUL in the MANAGERS' box)

RAOUL
Can it be?
Can it be Christine?

Bravo!

(he raises his opera-glasses)

What a change!
You're really
not a bit
the gawkish girl
that once you were...

(lowering his opera-glasses)

She may
not remember
me, but
I remember
her...

CHRISTINE
We never said
our love
was evergreen,
or as unchanging
as the sea -
but please
promise me,
that sometimes
you will think of me!

2005-07-26T17:37:00.000+08:00

Unreal Banana peel~

*yawn
Had a nightmare last night. I dreamt that my brother and I were in the living room watching television. I suddenly ran into the room because I remembered someone said the vampire will appear at night. Then suddenly it's morning already and I went out of my room. I saw my grandfather and then my brother was lying in a pool of blood. I shouted ' what happen??' Then Rina replied that she don't know why.

Then I was about to call my dad and he came out just in time. I told him I want to show him something and that he must not react too big. Then we asked my brother what happen and he replied weakly 'teoh...' And I said 'what teoh..qucik say..' AND HE SAID ALBERT TEOH!!! Then I was so angry.

The next scence I was already in school and I called the police. I said ' I'm callinkg from Seng Kang Seconday School and I want to report a teacher, Mr albert teoh. He pretended to be a vampire and killed my brother'. Then I saw Albert teoh, and he appears to be even more bald. And I woke up.

*phew. I hate this dream. I told F4nHai about my dream and when we walked past Teoh's class, I said very loudly 'murderer'. Hahas. I'm lame.

I forgot to say that my Bitch is with HIM right now. I do feels sad for *her but then...we can't help but remembers how *she treated my Bitch the other time round. And *she was the one who wanted a break up. *sign

SEAN kept looking at Ohm today! And he stills keeps on saying that it was Ohm who look at him. And he even said 'don't always look at me lah, I know I very handsome' Hahas.!! How can they do it during SSP time? They should be concentrating. Hurhur...

I'm so FAT!!! I'm so tired these two weeks that I just sleeps and sit all day long. Had to study for so many stuffs. My class is divided in two classes from today onwards during Chemistry lesson. Madam yeo is so SLY!! She took all the good students and left us with the new teacher, Miss Goh. Miss Goh teaches better than Madam yeo!! AT LEAST, she's able to capture our attention. AND we listens.

Six more weeks to Prelim!! GOSH!

*yawn~

2005-07-25T16:50:00.000+08:00

GOING CRAZY TODAY!!!

STRESS!!!!!

Woke up today feeling so darn tired. And so I treated it as a bad sign since I always will be in a bad mood the whole day if I'm tired. BUT then!! When I was on the way to school in the bus, that malay dude sat with me. Hurhur. Hees. So I guess my day wasn't that bad after all.

My bag is so heavy and made me have headaches during the lessons. Felt so stress all of a sudden and I went crazy. Ohm were mimicking my 'crying' . And the both of us turn up laughing and laughing after each cry. Hahas.

I'm going to rest now. Homework still not done yet. URGH!! I need my medicine lah~

That's better. *phew. JUn Yang's my medicine oh WAIT!!!

The one I'm going crazy today. Hahas!!! Although he's out BUT!! He'll make it as a hair stylist. =D Or maybe a singer one day. Who knows? Hurhur.

2005-07-24T21:14:00.000+08:00

I'm back!!

SIANZ!! Couldn't believe it! The party started in the night. We reach there at about 11am and we sat around and I took care of the kids.

Cheryl and Javier each ride a bike and Javier don't know how to ride. AND he refuses our help to push his bike. When he couldn't 'push' himself forward and Cheryl is behind him, he would turn and scold and hit Cheryl. Blaming her as if she had caused him not to be able to ride a bike. I was the only one taking care of the both of them. *tiring.

Then at about 12pm we went to the coffee shop for our lunch. Everyone had fishballs noodles except my auntie. They said that the noodles is very nice but I think it tasted so-so. I couldn't finish my noodle. On the way to the coffee shop and back, I had to chase after Javier and Cheryl. *tiring

Sat around and they started preparing the ingredients. Javier had his nap while Cheryl continue jumping about and playing. Chloe is very cute when she smile but she don't always smile. Hahas.

Then my aunty asked me to help her peel the prawn shells. Luckily it was already cooked, so my hand won't smell fishy after peeling. After peeling, slack around and read the magazine that I've brought there.

Slowly and slowly, my aunty relatives started arriving. There were ten kids in the living room after that. Imagine how noisy and chaotic it is. The youngest is not even one year old and the oldest is only in primary one I think. They were all not shy and very friendly.

The two boys played with Javier's car and refuses to 'lend' it to Javier. When they were talking, Javier talked too but they didn't heard him, and it seems like Javier wad talking to himself. Hurhur..

Went home at about eight. So darn tiring but I make it a point to update this entry.
*dying...

2005-07-24T09:43:00.000+08:00

Chloe birthday!

I'm going for chloe 1st year birthday party now. Sianz. I have been complaining since yesterday night till now. We'll be leaving our house at 10.00am! Why do we need to leave so early? And reach so early?? My father actually suggested that we'll took a cab there later but I'm afraid my auntie may wanna help in the cooking and want me to take care of the kids.

And my father commented that we'll be sitting at there like logs. Not doing anything.
I don't wanna go!!!!!! URGH!!

I'm leaving now, *sob. BYE!

2005-07-23T18:07:00.000+08:00

I want to be a nerd!!

Went to Honeybunch's house for tuition. Honeybunch was unhappy with Miss Toh. Miss Toh kept asking stupid questions as if we were like so stupid. Some of the questions was like err...too easy.

Then after tuition, Honeybunch went swimming with Jia Min and I took a cab home. On the way to the swimming pool, we bought ice-cream with bread. *yummy

Mummy aka Sponge went for the National Day Preview today!! Urgh!! We don't have the tickets! But then...If I'm not going with my gang, I wouldn't go cause it's not Hui Yi Man Man Man anymore. And now that she have watch the Preview, there won't be any surprise on 09 August. I sound so jealous.

I want to be a nerd! Someone who's hardworking and clever. I WANT!

Won't be updating so often. Just like Mr Raj had said 'don't waste time blogging!' unless blogging is needed in the exams.

2005-07-22T21:11:00.000+08:00

National Day 2003 recollection

Celebrities bringing the moods of the audience high!

The choir with the big banner behind us. Wee~ Look at those small little tiny marshals. Hahas!! Ahem... They were right infront of us. =D

The choir with the landing of err...I forgot what's that call. Anyway, we were spinning the umbrella. Guess the picture was too small to be seen lah.

Cedar's girls. Didn't really like them.

Mark Lee with Bowen secondary school, military band. Mark Lee was darn funny and we love the 'Birthday Song' that they played.

Mark Lee again. Looking so proudly!

The choir with the indian song. Paduvon? (I don't know how to spell) With our silver apron!

The choir with the song; 'Xiao Ren Wu De Xin Shen'. Don't we look so nice? Uh uh.. My fan were wet and I've to perfom with it. And ofcourse, serveral scoldings after that I hit someone with it. =p

Mr Goh arrived. *wave~

Nice view!!

It's Stephanie and Iceman look alike. Bitch!! I've not forgotten what happen.
Our SBS bus were directly beside ICEMAN's SBS bus! We knocked on the bus screen and he looked over. My bitch pointed at him and made a sign asking him for his phone number! And know what he did? He turn away!!! So embarassing!!! But then, he's still COOL. He's a china guy. =D

The marching in now!! With the song, we walk in harmony..with our fellow man..Blablabla..We were so high singing along the song!! Even with the sun at us.

Here's a piccture of the choir bring down a banner 'Welcome to NDP 2003' I think. Welcoming the arrival of President SR nathan.

I don't think this a picture of President SR Nathan. The man looks too white to be him. SO I guess this is a picture taken during the reharsal. With us all waving our flags and clapping our sticks. One singapore yea!

Here's the real President SR Nathan!!!!

Natinal athem being played with the flag flying over our heads. Our flag is really mesmerizing huh. It makes many people heads go up! Hahas.

Look at these. Those army guys were so COOL! Their movement were all well coordinated and fast!

WAOH!! The touch lights were all switched on. Stunning!!

The video was being played. We were not allowed to turn our head and look at it but we took occasionally peek. It's about Sars and the all the health care workers speaking about how people avoid them and all that.

Look at us!! We obediently switched on our torch lights!! We were swinging it and playing with it happily. So young and childish. Oh, I feels OLD!! Hurhur.. And in the bottom it's Common wealth Secondary. There's is a girl who has exactly the same hairstyle as my bitch!! HAhas!!

One of the balloons was a Crab balloon. And while we were walking to our bus, I said 'Why is Wang Jian Fu' there and he laughed. Hahas!! Remember during Star Serach Wang Jian Fu acted as a crab?? Hahas!

The Pledge taking.

The finale!! We are singapore, singaporean...Stand up, stand up for singapore... We danced and jumped around. Just like monkeys! Hahas.!

Lastly, fireworks!!! Everyone was screaming!! And we were singing F4's 'Qian Ni De Shou Qu Gan Jue Yan Huo Zui Mi Ren De Ji Jie~~~'

This is the best I can do.
*yawn. Tired after all these blogging.

Good night!! Sweet dreams....

2005-07-21T17:25:00.000+08:00

Afraid.
Happy Racial Harmony Day!!

Today performance by the teachers is so darn nice! Especially Mr Pinto who wore an indian costume and dance! HOT!! (not that kind of hot that we know) It's so mesmerizing when he's dancing. I love indian dance! So dramatic, like running around the coconut tree all that. BUT i love it! =D Hurhur.

Honeybrunch and Mummy were nicely dressed for the day but we didn't. don't know who to borrow from.

Mr Yap changed our sitting arrangement today. My class were divided into groups. Bitch and Ohm is in one group and I'm in another. My group members are Melessa, Hui ping, Zheng Yang And Teng Cheah.

Have a bad habit of scolding my Bitch ben dan when I'm the one who is ben. No, no, no, Wo Bu Ben, Wo Shi You Fu. Was being very very lame all this while. Sianz. Unreal banana peel !!

Life can't seem to be any interesting no matter what I do. *sign

I miss *him lots! =(

Chemistry SSP today was boring. Mdm Yeo has been eating into our recess time with her chemistry lesson. We even had to point to the clock to remind her.
After recess, we have to gather at the parade square . It's so hot. It's 12.20pm and the sun is directly shinning on us and burning us up.

After so long, everyone ought to know that words can't bring me down.

i lied.

2005-07-19T17:54:00.000+08:00

DEAD
I wonder how I survived after knowing my results. ='(

My Bitch is wonderfully, sweetly in love right now. I guess it'll be not too long till they become boy and girl friend.

Today's Mass PE is torturing. We were asked to do 'sit up...okay...push up..make some more noise..from the start again...sit up..push up..' So tiring. The E1 guys turn the ' jogging on the spot' to 'dancing on the spot'. Hahas. I thought they'll be scolded but Mr Talip didn't scold them.

Got nothing much to blog today....So.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LANG~~

Hope that you' will stay adorable and beautiful always, Gets what you wished for. And lastly, do very very well in your O. =D Stay lively!! MUACKS!!

2005-07-18T16:24:00.000+08:00

Thanks HONEYBRUNCH and MUMMY!!!

My Honeybrunch and Mummy made banana brownies for F3 (F4nHai). It tasted okay, though not perfect BUT we can feel the hard work from the both of you lah. =) [ how much fats does it contain??] Hurhur...

I'm so happy for my beloved BITCH!!! YAHOO~~ She's in love! Yea~ And I'm really so so so glad! Finally~ *phew. We had fun laughing at each other the whole day. We talked about National Day Parade'03. We talked about how great it is now that she's in love. We talked about how our friendship has improved. And ofcourse we talked about the prelim. =( She promised to teach me maths! And Ohm, don't be so sad anymore kay? =D

National day is coming soon and I will write a post on NDP'03 on saturday. =)

Err....I don't wish to write out my results for the maths. =( Sorry.

GIVE ME A GOAL. Give me something to look forward to. Give me SOMEONE to motivate me.

Hees.

No, not him sorry. But someone whom Dad old dude said look like. (Hmm...what do you think?)

2005-07-16T09:40:00.000+08:00

Tell me what to do.

Rina is so unreasonable and stubborn!! And she stills say I'm stubborn. She was washing the dishes quite loudly in the morning and I reminded her not to do it loudly. (I said it nicely)

'I doing thing wad..how to don't loudly'

'Can wad...you can control....'

'this 1 so heavy....'

'also can wad..you never c ah gong's face so black arx...'

'black, black larx..i work so many yrs still wan to complain'

'so u mean, u work so many years le then cannot say u?'

'I doing thing wad..if nv do thing then no sound la..'

'if u angry..u will make more noise, even put cup, not heavy also got sound...'

'how u know..tt mean is u lar...'

'no lehx..last time u liddat..only i dun wanna sae u ...'

Then now she's giving a black face and ofcourse she making more noise! She always thinks she is right and others is wrong. Whenever I tried to explain things to her, she will give dozens of useless explaination. Now, I don't bother talking sense because I know she won't listen.

If she is someone I'm not close with or just a passer-by or someone who I need not sees everyday. I wouldn't bother wasting my time talking. Urgh. Does the problem lies with me or what. Am I expecting too much from others? I don't care if anyone dislike me because of the way I am.
Hate me if you want. I hate myself too.

I always feel that I'm always the one causes any quarrels no matter whether it's at home or in school. Yes. I'm capable of making everyone angry.
For any dispute, make me the culprit.

I just hate living.

2005-07-14T15:15:00.000+08:00

Pre-Prelim's over...

I'm not feeling very happy because the Pre-Prelim is over. I didn't study much, almost close to not. Except History and Social Studies because Mdm Sharifah wants a 100% passes. I wouldn't want to be the black sheep. *sign

O level is in a few months time. English oral is in a month time. Chinese listening is tomorrow. (Please remember to clean your ears!!) I tried to speak to Rina with my 'outmost so-called' almost perfect english and I stutter on almost every sentence. My english sucks, I know. =( That's what happen when you're raised up in a chinese speaking enviroment. =(

I lose my confidence in maths. E maths especially. I couldn't do vectors and all that drawings!! I almost lose my passion in mathematics. I feel like a dead duck. I couldn't do well in most of the things lah.

Went to the library with Honeybrunch and Ohm earlier on, after our meals. Borrowed two books ; 'Don't ask me why' and 'A lesson before dying'.
Was caught in the rain while walking home. One minute the sun was still sorching hot and the next thing I know it's raining. Strange weather.

I hate taking buses!!! There is always not enough seats in the morning! It's bad enough when you have to squeeze with people. Some of the auntys love to put the blame on us, the students. "Aiya...See lah~ the students ALWAYS don't want to move in one..." And then she'll start going 'cuse me, cuse me' , finding every possible way to move her butt across us. *kiasu!

I try to tolerate and maintain my 'Xing Xiang' and not give a disturbed face, just my usual nerd face. If it really gets too far, I'll only stare. I'm not so bad to talk about the auntys because I will become one some day. But!! Please Ar...I'll get really very irritated of their butts.

I can smell the aroma of todays' soup. It's making me drool. Hurhur...

"Rina~~"

2005-07-12T18:00:00.000+08:00

HELLO KITTY PLAY WITH US TODAY~

Changed my blogskin and I feel so much like acting KAWAII nehx~ My mummy aka Sponge has a blog!! Oh my gosh! Hahas. Didn't really expect her to have a blog. =)

My dar aka Paris Hilton came to my house to study A maths. She spent almost half of our time doing her blog and we ended up getting the same one back. We kept on trying and changing and then with one move wrong, we've got no choice but to use the same one back. =( And I've a new nick for my dar; honeybrunch. Sweet~

We went to the Dollars and cent supermart and brought facial foam, chicken vegetables canned soup and THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS. The canned soup taste like the tomato vegetables soup from Pizza Hut. YUMMY. For that breakfast of champions, it is known as Weet-Bix and it tasted very dry and eek. But it is LOW FAT!!!! Hurhur....

Honeybrunch helped me to put on eye-liner and asked me to draw my eyebrow. Er...I looked like Crayon Shin Chan. Hahas. Not that cute I think. =p

MESS!!!

2005-07-10T20:12:00.000+08:00

MESS!!!!

I'm so tired!! ( I think I aways am..)
Helped Rina and Rini to peel the prawn shells in the morning and afternoon. My hand smell so fishy! And then I went on to cutting onions. YUCKS!! But then...still the same sentence 'Wo Shi Xian Qi Liang Mu'. =) But then Rina did not compliment me eventhough I kept on emphasizing on ' you see the prawn so scary i dare to touch.... You see make until my hand so smelly but i also help you...' Hao Xin Mei Hao Bao~ Hahas.

My house is in quite a mess now because of Cheryl and Javier. They quarreled over my Pooh bear and tried to pull it apart. =( Xin Tong Ar... Then they began to jump on the bed and I had to try to prevent the both of them from falling. I think chasing after the both of them did helped in burning away some calories? Hopefully...Hurhur..

I didn't really study for my physics. Or should I say did not? Life has been quite a bore.
Someone please urge me to study please!

I will try to blog everyday if possible. BYE!

2005-07-09T21:13:00.000+08:00

What does Lao Shu like to eat???
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Ans : Dry noodle
( Lao Shu Ai Da Mee)

Happy bdae dad old dude

2005-07-09T13:38:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD OLD DUDE!!!

Will be having A maths tuition on monday at 3.30pm and tuesday is my physics paper. I know I shouldn't complain BUT .....hais...

Back to the topic. Dad Old Dude is twenty three -year-old now!!! I don't know what to say..Hmm.. Best wishes for you and Princess Jean. =) Hurhur...

2005-07-08T18:30:00.000+08:00

WHY???

Derrick- Wei Jian is out of Project Superstar! WHY? I thought he had so many fans supporting him and his marks were not the lowest? Was shocked when I heard this news at first but I was even more shocked by Shu Qing and Sandra's expression. They were like...always joking type so I don't really expected that.

My dar's expression was the worst. Everyone should know by now it isn't a fair competition. What if I have just a little talent and luckily got in the audition, my family's rich till they could make thousands call for me. Won't I just know I'll definitely be the winner? Marks given by the judges are only 30% while the number of calls stand 70%. Maybe I shouldn't have said this. Anyway it's Project Superstar, to be a superstar...the number of calls matter more than your talent? Maybe if it changes it's tittle to "The Best Singer Award", that's where we'll see the real talent.

Just wanna share something my aunt sent me;

NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a
successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for
her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in
mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could
not find a better husband than you."

2005-07-07T17:55:00.000+08:00

WO HUI LAI LE le le le le

I'm back!! Lame, I've being on and off a few times. Was a little tired of blogging the other time when I made that mistake of wanting to end my blog. *Hug my computer and kissed it "I still love you!! I will never choose to leave you again!!" Well, that's lame.

I had my chinese O level oral yesterday. I always thought that I was a good speaker in chinese oral until yesterday. I stumbled and couldn't think of ANY ideas to say. The news topic was 'Another newborn baby was found to be abandoned, what are your comments about it?' I don't know what to comment! Except to say 'a baby is a life, they should take the responsible.'

These are some of the questions asked after that;
( What would you do if your friend tells you that she's pregnant? )
( Health and wealth, which is the most important to you?)
( What do you think happiness is?)
( So are you happy?)

Went to the Polyclinic after my test with my gang except hai. Had flu and sore throat since saturday. Then now the sore throat is turning into cough. Sianz.

Bought that famous coffee bun - Rotiboy. The taste is quite nice, but I wonder how much fats it contains? =( Why can't my tummy just slim down. =(=( (that was my lunch) Then went to the John Little and looked at make ups. My dar was spending such a long time looking for eye-liner and when we finally found the right one!! She said it was too expensive.

SO we went on to look at nail polish trying at all the 'testers' which we think it looks nice. The auntie was looking at us but we continue on chatting and choosing the right one. I finally chose one and my Dar couldn't decide on which one to buy so she bought the same as me. Dar, so my taste...not bad right? Hahas..Anyway..I seriously think we look like those cheap-skate auntie. Hurhur...

A sixteen year old boy killed himself because of love. His girlfriend broke up with him. Shall not comment too much, it's not good to talk about the dead. BUT please...before we do everything, do think of the consequences. His parents would be so upset. ='(

I like that song, Huang Yi Da - Na Nu Hai Dui Wo Shuo. Hahas..

That's all for today...

time for my medicine!!

2005-06-03T10:50:00.000+08:00

CLOSING DOWN OF BLOG

Will not be blogging anymore. I guess you guys will also be tired of hearing me talking and talking about *him. I've decided not to neglect my diary anymore. I'm back to the 'old' way of writing. But then who knows? I may be back someday.
So...It's up to you guys whether if you wanna continue coming back to my blog to check.

I miss *him. Love *him. So much that I couldn't believe myself.

2005-06-02T22:41:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OHM !!!!

Sweet sixteen~ =D

I miss *him! Yes, it's everyday. Just like a routine I had to do. The distance between us is getting wider and wider, conversation getting colder. I don't always see *him and I still don't make use of the time I see *him.

I will, I will try to pretend normal. I will try to bring myself back to the past where I would always make fun of *him and we'll quarrel.
Volt dar, I will listen to you. I will talk to *him. I will act normal. I will laugh, joke and speak more. Hopefully this will bring us closer back to the past.

I watched one drama today, I don't what's the tittle cause I just happen to see it. The man said " when you love someone, you will be afraid. Afraid that he/she will be unhappy. Afraid that he/she will be hurt. Afraid..............blablabla"

Believe in yourself and all your dreams will be fulfilled.

2005-05-31T22:03:00.000+08:00

Career Quest

Wore high heels for the first time today. Had to walk carefully plus gracefully. Hahas. I can't walk gracefully! Everyones' dressed up to the nine but our behaviour....err....So noisy~

Hui Ping wore a skirt today!!! Wee~ weet~ She look really very pretty with make up!! Ying Xi look very very pretty too. So different. Shu Nu!!! Though Hui Ping wear a skirt, her actions is still very erm...like a boy. She sits with her legs so open, we can see her sexy tigh. Hahas. =)
S Liang look so "si wen" today.

Career Quest is so tiring and a little bored. Just walking around the school, listening to talks. =*

Enough of all my talks now then.

PICTURES!!! (there are still more at hp's camera, but I have to wait for her to send me) Credited to Ohm's camera.

Hui Ping!!!

Volt dar and Hui Ping!!!

Myself and volt dar!!!

Bitchified, ohm and myself

Ohm and Myself

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!!

2005-05-30T17:10:00.000+08:00

IT'S OVER~

Hahas. Finally chinese is over. I guess I will at least pass but I can't be sure what grade I will get. Give me A2!!!
Dad old dude and gang went back for reservist today. Take care guys!! (they won't be able to read it)

Went to Compass Point just now to buy the clothes for tomorrow - Career Quest. It's so hard to look for clothes and shoes. Urgh~ But in the end we manage to. Just now I was trying clothes at Ness then I don't think it look nice so I told me Dar "don't need to show them" then suddenly....*SCREAM. She pulled open the curtain and I had already taken off the pants!!!! *ahh So paiseh.

Then we went to Charles and Keith to buy our shoes. My dar suddenly told me that a group of girls kept looking at us and I looked up. It's April, my primary school friend. So glad that she hasn't forgot about me. Then she said " O level still go out buy shoe" Hurhur. =)

I gave a letter to my mortal today about *him. I love to tell people about *him. (i can repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat.) I think my gang should be sick of hearing the story. Hees~
Few more days and I've like *him for two years. We may not contact, but those memories still keeps me going on.
Dad old dude always LOVE to lie to me that he's going abroad to study larx...this and that...And he'll always say "Though we shall part, but blablablabla..." Forgot already. Will ask him the next time and post it kies. =D

2005-05-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

Going crazy soon

I don't know what's wrong with me nowadays. My temper is really bad. I can't stand little things and urgh....O's chinese tomorrow. *worried
I don't really know what the problem is with myself. =(
Everyone please stay away from me. Don't joke with me, don't smile at me, don't talk to me. The best is not to care about me.

AHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-05-24T17:54:00.000+08:00

It's okay if *you didn't save my number.

2005-05-21T23:36:00.000+08:00

Dar and Ohm came to my house today to study. Did very less work. Dar and I end up dancing at any music and we were behaving like crazy girls. We even tried Yoga and tried to force our legs up our heads. Hurhur...
I put *his photo on my table and I told dar and ohm that he's my boyfriend. (I know I think too much) Hahas. I like it, what can you do? Wahahas. *evil.
Somehow our FATS may be gone after all those dancing BUT someone suggested going downstairs to get some food. End up with the table filled with tibits. =p Fattening.

*YAWN I'm tired

2005-05-21T19:28:00.000+08:00

Wo Hao Ai Ta Hao Ai Tai !!!!!!!!!
Yong Yuan Yong Yuan.
Zhi You Xiang Xing, Qi Ji Jiu Hui Chu Xian.

2005-05-19T22:05:00.000+08:00

Uh huh, this is my shit
All the girls stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna to happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit

I heard that you were talking shit
And you didn't think that I would hear it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
That's right, put your pom-poms downs, getting everybody fired up

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna to happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit

So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals,no student-teachers
All the boys want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna to happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit

Let me hear you say this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
(This shit is bananas)
(B-A-N-A-N-A-S)

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna to happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit

2005-05-19T15:21:00.000+08:00

Study...Study...

Had such a terrible cramp these three days!! URGH. Didn't went to school on monday and Mdm Yeo demanded a letter so I went to see a doctor on tuesday but he said he can't give me the MC for Monday. Had health check yesterday, everythings alright. =) Then I tell the nurse I every month *suffer* pain and had to take pain-killer and she said will refer to a clinic for check-up.
Do people go and have check up just because they have cramps every month? *siao Like a bit too exagerated. And to be more "high class", you can call it Dysmennorrhoea. Such a long name. May not go to the check-up, waste of money. I've check up on Dysmennorrhoea and it's nothing big. Even if I go for the check-up, the doctor will onlyl give me pain-killer. Unless they check out that I suffer pain because of other problems.

I want to be Shao Nai Nai~ =D

2005-05-16T22:28:00.000+08:00

Physics = 23/65
Chemistry = 10/65
A maths = 47/80
E maths = 48/100
MT = 30.5/80
MT compo = 46/60
Social studies = 17/25
History = 17/25

Control! Don't scream. Kay, this is my results. BAD. Be prepare to see my improvement in pre-prelimary. The most important is have confidence in yourself and work hard.
Study=~

EVERYONE!! You guys won't believe what happen. LIONEL TEO is so damn SIAO SIAO SIAO!!! He hack into my dar and my mummy hotmail and friendster. He changed my dar's friendster profile and deleted all her testimonial and friends and hotmail contact!!! CRAZY!!! Is this an act of a guy? OH MY GOD!!! SISSY~ -disgusted

2005-05-14T22:45:00.000+08:00

I just want to vent everything out.

I try to stop myself from blogging too much. Too much about how I feel. I try to stop people from understanding the real me. Sometimes I just want to tell everyone how I feel, or maybe even one person. I want everyone to understand me without letting them in to my thoughts. I want them to know how sad I am without showing. It's too much to ask for. I ask too much from myself. I just want to show the good side of me and not those dark side.

I want people to know how their words hurt. How their expression hurts. And even the things that happen hurts. I tend to think too much on weekend. The past will always flash back no matter how long it had happen. Even if it's one years, three years or even five years.

I'm still thinking why my "mother" left me and my brother twelve years ago. I don't have any memories of her. No one tells us what happen. Did she left because of another man? Or was it really because she wanted freedom. My brother even thought it was my father who drove her out. I'll never think that way. I can't imagine how a woman can abandon her children, her children who had just learn to talk and walk.

My brother was two years old then. I compared the age of Javier and Cheryl when they were two to my brother. They had so much love from everyone especially Javier. What about my brother? When he was two, he was probably crying for his so called "mother". I wonder if only she had not left, would none of these happen to us. How can she let us watch others mothers by their side. How can she broke my father's heart.

The counsellor told us that my brother said whenever he sees others mother by their children side, he will feel angry. Yes, anger. How should I name her. SLUT? I think she's even worst than that. But don't worry, I look for her when I grow up. I want her to feel guilty, regret. But she may be dead now even before I find her.

EVERYTHING HAPPEN BECAUSE OF HER!!!

I want to know if she had ever love-d us before. If she ever did miss-ed us in this twelve years. Not a news and all the while she had never came back to take a look at us. YET. She let us caught her with another man after two years when she left. Why did she came to our house downstair.
LING GEOK LAN!!! F**KER!!!
Don't anyone dare to side with her. If not because of her....I believe we'll be like a normal family. Nothing would have happen!!! NOTHING!!!

Even if she finds us now. Nothing she do can bring back my brother. The only thing she can do is to GO TO HELL and explain all her stupid excuses to him. The first thing I'll ever do when I see her will be a slap. Be it raining with lightning or thunder. She DESERVES it!!!

2005-05-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

I'm so hardowrking today. I studied six hours plus today. Did chemistry 10 years series, physics 10 years series and chinese 10 years series. Actually I wanted today to be an "intensive chemistry revision" but end up studying three hours and I'm bored.

Didn't went out wth dar, bitch and mummy because of that too. Ahh. I want to go to a JC and so I have to work very hard to improve my grades. I have the determination to do so whenever I think of *him. =)

JIA YOU XIMEN!!!! Hurhur...

2005-05-13T18:14:00.000+08:00

Commom test is over!!! =D
But O level chinese is in two weeks time! *scared
Got B3 for my social studies paper. I aimed for a A! =( Cause I studied quite hard for the test.
Nevermind, got to study hard for O so really won't be updating soon. Hahas. Best is don't come to my blog till after december. =)
Take care everyone. Study now!!!

2005-05-09T16:25:00.000+08:00

*sweetening once again

I had a dream last night. He told me he likes me too. And he asked me to study hard right now and he'll work hard now. It's somehow an agreement to each other. Hmm. Like an agreement before marriage. =D It's a little drama and I won't go further details on it incase some people can't stand it. HurHur. It feels so real that I still have the feeling of happiness. I have the feeling like it really happen and that I must study hard for his sake.

Ya....It's a dream. It'll either make me happy or sad. Sad as in I know it'll never happen or maybe because it gives me false hope. HAPPY! Well...Because I'm able to lie to myself that someday it'll happen and this is a hint that he like me too. Don't say I think too much. I feel happiness right now. *flying

It''s a dream. But, also a dream will probably come true.
=D *grin

Can't put my heart down to study chemistry. I'm gonna fail it tomorrow. Water Melon I miss Ya!!!

2005-05-08T20:29:00.000+08:00

Happy sha la la la~

Met up with haining aka mummy, hui zhong and Wei Min. Yup...Hui yi man man man. I can't describe how happy I am now! =) Cause I saw him. Though it's only a short while but well....Hees....
*SWEETENING

2005-05-07T17:36:00.000+08:00

Relink me guys..

Thanks... =)

2005-05-04T17:37:00.000+08:00

TIRING EYES

Hwee Min kissed F4 and Hai today but she didn't kiss M*** ***. Opps. Hahas.
HurHur~

Had chinese test today. The composition was pretty easy but the paper was so-so I think. Ahhh..Can't blog..My eyes hurt.

2005-05-02T18:41:00.000+08:00

EEEK!!! Rina found ants' egg on my study table today!! Yucks!
(no elaboration) *PUKE

My dar came to my house to study again. Hahas.I played the NDP`03 songs and we end up dancing the dance. We fogot most of the dance steps already. =p

Before we started studying, we went to had desserts and we bought tibits! We spooted one tibit call Corn Chee. Opps! It sounded so pervert and strange. HurHur. So that means that corn has female and male too? Hahas.
To those who read my dar's blog: what she wrote is all fake okay. Ruined my reputation. =p

2005-05-02T14:15:00.000+08:00

I MISS EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING
*sob

2005-04-30T22:23:00.000+08:00